We were watching the Derby Day programme on the BBC. As you do. HM the Q and the Royal Party had driven down the course under grey, moody skies, and ensconced themselves in the Royal Box. Katherine Jenkins had belted out the National Anthem, sporting a frock so low cut that the only thing that appeared to hold it up was the effect of the cold weather on the focal points of her abundant natural assets.And so the racing was due to start. Cue the BBC commentary team, headed by the redoubtable Claire Balding, dressed to the nines for the occasion, and with an elegant, wide-brimmed, feather-trimmed creation atop.
“Cor”, I said. “Isn’t Claire’s hat smashing.”“”Humph!” said Susie, unimpressed as ever. “Looks like she’s just head-butted a pheasant!”