We were watching the Derby Day
programme on the BBC. As you do. HM the Q and the Royal Party had driven down
the course under grey, moody skies, and
ensconced themselves in the Royal Box.
Katherine Jenkins had belted out the National Anthem, sporting a frock
so low cut that the only thing that appeared to hold it up was the effect of
the cold weather on the focal points of her abundant natural assets.
And so the racing was due to start. Cue the
BBC commentary team, headed by the redoubtable Claire Balding, dressed to the
nines for the occasion, and with an
elegant, wide-brimmed, feather-trimmed
creation atop.
“Cor”, I said. “Isn’t Claire’s hat smashing.”
“”Humph!” said Susie, unimpressed
as ever. “Looks like she’s just head-butted a pheasant!”